I Want My Arms and Legs Back!

Sometimes I catch myself reaching for things. I even occasionally try and get up and walk every now and then. But whenever I catch myself doing that, I remember what my life was like before I became sick. Images of long nights on the soccer field, playing football with my friends at the local park and slow dancing at junior high dances rush to the front of my mind. But as I look down at the wheelchair I’m sitting in, I know that part of my life is gone.

And just like the super heroes I read about in my comic books, I too am in a fierce battle with a formidable villain. But unlike my caped counterparts, my villain isn’t some horrible evil-doer.

My arch nemesis is frustration.

It can’t be beat with x-ray vision, super strength or super speed – although, it would be cool to be Professor X. No, it takes something more important than that. If you want to conquer frustration, all it takes is a little patience and perseverance.

You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to just shout, “I want my arms and legs back!” I am constantly reminded of all the things I am unable to do on my own and it makes me wish I wasn’t in a wheelchair. But I know that feeling sorry for myself and giving up isn’t going to help me walk again. So instead of being frustrated, I am fighting back.

Not with super powers, but with my own indomitable will. All it takes is a little persistence and resolve. All it takes for me to succeed is to try.

And for now, good has triumphed over this evil.

My Uncertain Future

I often find myself wondering about my future. Where will I be in five years? Twenty years? Will I have a family of my own? Will I ever walk again?

Questions like that dart through my mind everyday, and I don’t seem to have the answers to them. As I deal with this unnerving uncertainty, I look towards the future with determination and courage. The future may be out of my hands, but I choose the path that will lead me to a life of success and happiness. I may be traveling that path with the help of an electric wheelchair, but it’s not going to keep me from my hopes and dreams.

I didn’t choose to be paralyzed from the neck down, but I did choose to not let the paralysis control my life.

If I can’t predict the future, I can hope for a good life.

If I can’t write, I will speak.

If I can’t walk, I will roll.

I don’t know what will happen in five years, or 20 years. I don’t know if I will have a family of my own. I don’t know if I will ever walk again.

But I do know that I am living the life I chose, and that’s fine with me.

The 2007 USPSA National Power Soccer Tournament

After months of practice, preparation and perspiration, it was finally time to put those new spin kick skills to the test. This June, myself and seven other athletes from the Division One Arizona Heat Power Soccer team made our way to the Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, IN for the 2007 USPSA National Power Soccer Tournament.

With a field of eight teams that included the Atlanta Synergy and Circle City Rollers, high expectations flowed through the veins of every athlete, coach and fan who attended the three-day tournament.

The Yellow Submarine: Part 1

In 1998, the Sub-Acute unit, or “the Unit” as I liked to call it, was designed for patients who are well enough to be out of the main hospital but who are not well enough to go home. When I arrived at the unit I was one of their first patients they took care of. The first initial release date for me was late November but little did I know, I wouldn’t leave there until May 24th, 1998. During the months to come, I would have many weird and wacky experiences. Whether it is my family, friends or staff, I was never bored during my stay at the Unit…

One of my first memorable experiences was Halloween, and of course, I have to find a costume. As I laid in bed and thought of my many ideas, I came to one obvious conclusion, Dr. Tellez. Everyone thought it was a great idea and everybody pitched in; my dad brought the black-rimmed glasses, clothes, and shoes, and the nurses made a fake badge a lab coat. Spitting image… Yes, from head to toe. Once I was ready, we went over to the ICU to show Dr. Tellez himself. When we reached the ICU, all the nurses were laughing and let’s just say Dr. Tellez was amazed at the resemblance. After some quick photos, my entourage and I headed back to my room.

As the days went by, I found myself with a few extra minutes on my hands. Not knowing how long I would be in the hospital, I became worried about missing school. To my surprise, I found out that the hospital had an in-house teacher.

The ICU

Suddenly I found myself out of Carnak and back in a hospital bed. “You’re awake!” said my mother; I had been in a coma for nearly four days. As I tried to lift my arms and hug my mom, I found myself paralyzed from the neck down and scared out of my mind. With each breath, I began to notice that it was not my lungs doing the breathing. As I looked around I noticed a long, plastic tube inserted down my nose; I was terrified. It was connected to a machine that was designed to help me breath; my right lung had collapsed and I was unable to breathe on my own. All I could think about was the continuous beep of the Ventilator as I struggled for a breath. If it was not for my family and friends, plus the support of the doctors and nurses, I would not have survived.

My doctor, David Tellez, was a great person besides being a great doctor. He is a huge racing fan and would always come in and talk to me about cars to get my mind off the hospital. Doctor Tellez always found time to come in a talk with me and my family because he knew we were stressed and just wanted to help. Whenever we had questions about anything, he always would make time to answer them personally.

The best part about Doctor Tellez were his “D.Q. runs.”

My Guardian Angel

As I woke from my deep sleep, I found myself in a dark, damp cave deep underground. For some strange reason, I was not afraid of the darkness or the menacing caverns that surrounded me. The walls of the caves surrounded me as if they were about to swallow me whole. My heart pounded furiously through my chest as I began investigating this strange environment. Suddenly, out of nowhere, came this weird-looking troll with a strange, but familiar, look in his eyes.

My mind was telling me to turn around and run, but all I could do was stand there in amazement. He walked right up to me and said, “Come with me.” I did not know what to make of this creature standing in front of me; he was medium height and pudgy with long, brown hair and pointy ears.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

He simply turned around and replied, “Home.” We continued our long walk towards his small village, when I realized that I did not know his name. “Garvin,” the troll stated as if he was reading my mind. About an hour later, we reached his village. “Welcome to Carnak!” he proclaimed.

The Day My Life Changed Forever

As if there were not enough things on a young teenagers mind, the idea of the first day of high school alone would drive many students insane. There was no more playing around because to an eager 14-year-old, high school is considered the big leagues and I finally made it to the show. As I became engulfed in the sea of students outside the office, I felt so small compared to the upper classmen and wanted so badly to fit in. My name is Gabe Trujillo and I was your typical freshman in high school and couldn’t wait to get my year started. I nervously stood in the parking lot with cautious optimism and stared at the huge double doors in front of me.

I knew nothing would ever be the same.

High school is nothing like anyone has ever seen before; the girls were prettier and the jocks were meaner. “This is gonna be fun,” I whispered to myself – famous last words from an unsuspecting 14-year-old. The first few weeks were tough, but no where close to what would happen next.

Welcome!

This is my inaugural post of my blog. Here you will find posts about my life as a quadriplegic and the various experiences I’ve had since I became permanently confined to a wheelchair. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. But all will be very entertaining. So kick back, and enjoy!